there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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