there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
