Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
