I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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