I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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