Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
