okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
