It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize