she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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