3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
