he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
