I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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