Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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