He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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