Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
