I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
