Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize