I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
