a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
