Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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