You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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