Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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