i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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