The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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