i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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