Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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