Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
