I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm eating all of the evidence.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
