This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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