she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like God shit irony all over that family
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
