I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
