Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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