i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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