Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
