Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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