His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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