Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Boobs speak an international language.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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