You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
