we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
