Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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