I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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