It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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