remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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