wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize