You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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