3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
