Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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