just come out here and I will go home with you...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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