hell yes lets make some ravioli
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
