How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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