the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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