you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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