Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
