Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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