I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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