My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
