so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
