Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
