She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
