I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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