About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
