So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
