you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize